“How I feel about myself is more important than how I look. Feeling confident, being comfortable in your skin-that’s what really makes you beautiful.”Bobbi Brown
Believe me or not I was alone for 26 years, well not literally alone. I was brought up by the orphanage since I was baby until I was graduated from high school, that’s mean I never know about my parents until now. Is that count as alone if you don’t have any family member in this world? But, there is other people as we grow everyday whether is a friends, colleagues, partner, a stranger or even your pets. It comes to the point that I am not totally alone or it just the matter of how did you view the reality.
Let’s take the view that in fact I was all by myself now, being alone is not new things for me. I remember the last day I asked about my parents to the mother in the orphanage when I was 13yo. Tired of hearing the same answer from I was 5yo and never see the result that I wanted, I stop asking her. I learn slowly and accept the fact that my parents leave me in the orphanage, and I begin to numb my feeling of loneliness.
The fact that things grow and change everyday doesn’t really help me as I grow to be a person day by day as well and when I start knowing about feeling. Everyday we meet at least new people if stranger are included. They comes and go, some will stay even grow with us and leave some memories when they left. We tend to forget when we are with them about ourselves, we just caught in a moment with them. Sometimes without we realise we lost ourselves with them and the moment. We try hard to be part of them so they will accept us and proved them that we are worthy enough to be part of it. But what happened when they left us or when they didn’t accept us to be part of them? There will be a huge punch on my heart sometimes and will start resurfacing many question for myself. From why they left or why I don’t belong to them is enough for a starter to blame my own self. Is it all that question and feeling come from the way society shape us? We must be beautiful, intelligent, and successful to be fit and being acceptable.
Looking back all those questionable make us ignore the fact that beauty comes in many different way and form, and that intelligence is difference in every single person. These social categories push ourselves further away from self-love. They make us more rigid in our mindset and more stuck on how and who we should be. We feel that we have to be a certain way or else we are disappointment.
Beside all our efforts, they still left us. Whether is a family or friend they will left at some point. Is it true our bestfriend are there to help us when we need sometimes, but we are the one who will calls the shot, the one who will make the hard decisions and deal with the consequences. And we are the only one who will going to stand up for ourselves when we are being criticized.
The hard truth are our bestfriend are not around for every moment that we are faced, whether is something new, or challenging moments. They won’t be always be available to answer every call or text on time. They won’t at the same place to come and get you in the middle of the night. They don’t have a radar to tell them when we are struggling and they need to be next to us. They have their own lives, problem, issues and they will never be able to give us their 100% attention to us. They only do what they can and sometimes is not enough for us, jus like the way we probably won’t be able to give them our full time and attention either.
When we realise that we can’t count on anyone else for our own happiness it’s should be a big wake up call for ourselves. From there we know that we can’t rely on any other person. That should make us think about investing in ourselves and taking care of ourselves. Because the longest relationship we are going to have in life is the one we have with ourselves. This is way it is so important to strengthen and develop the connection we have within ourselves.
This is how I become best friend with my own self. From always looking out for myself doing what would be best for me and taking care of myself. By taking the time and thought to learn about myself, my fears, my motivations, my limitations and all the list goes on, I am able to develop a stronger sense of self and help me to easily accept my own self rather than punish or blame myself. Also it help me to figure it out what I want in life, my life goals, and understanding what make me happy or unhappy.
Don’t focus on the negative things about ourselves when they are so many positive things about ourselves that they are amazing and we should realise that. Learn to have fun alone and enjoy your own company because constantly thinking that we need someone else’s company to have fun will holding us back instead of deepen ourselves. Praise yourself for your achievement and realised your achievement are worth the same value whether we get praise from other people or not. Being best friend with my own self help me to develop into my true best self :).
“The whole point of being alive is to evolve into the complete person you were intended to be”Oprah Winfrey