” I am working my happiness like a full time job “Gabrielle Berstein
Life is full of experience, full of surprises, sometimes we have a good day, another time we have a bad day. And is absolutely okay, it’s a part of life that help us to grow to be a better person or to help as to shape what kind of person we want to be.
When I decided to write and to put those title, that the highlights is all about “Growing as a Person” there is pretty much things on my mind. First all all, what it mean to be grow as a person? To grow it self, has many aspect, ranging from the physical to mental expansion and development. But, in more sentimental case as when referring to the more substantial of one’s being it indicates the progression to becoming someone with better qualities, views and attitude, more sensible, kinder, hardworking, etc.
And here are my little things that help me to grow as a person, from my own experience, a lesson from someone, an unexpected things, or even from just simple quotes that I read sometimes and somewhere.
1. Don’t rush when doing something, Is okay to doubled check to make it right And the Important of Time
This lesson I learned when I was quite younger, I remember is during my primary school days. There is one day, I go home with pretty much bad Math test result. As a kid of course I feel upset, and when my cooking orphanage mother asking me how my math test going? I give the result to her, and she knows that I was not satisfied with what I got from the way I behave. When she’s done looking at my paper, she ask me easy math addition question like, 4+4=8, 8-3=5, 1+1=2 and soon, just the simple math test. I answer all correctly, and she said something that I always remember. “Math is easy, is a number and is a fact. You don’t need to be rush when doing math, you need to check it again and again before you put the answer, because all your mistake is just something when you didn’t check back, a clumsy mistake.” From that day, I always remember to not rushing in my Math and always doubled check that help me to excel in math at the end :). and when I grow up I try to apply those too in my daily life, but sometimes I still rushing and forget to doubled check on it, like when I write something especially. I still need to learn about this things until I master it to help me in my life to make it easy and better in the future. Those, lesson what my currents boss also told me when I discussing about what kind of business I would like to run in the future. There is a lots of things to think and see before, from other people opinion to think about and the right timing. So, don’t rush! opportunity is always coming and there is plenty that what he said :).
2. Never Judge People by Their Past and Manners is Important and Always IMPORTANT.
Ever heard some quotes saying “Never Judge people by their past? because-people learn-people change-and people move on” and most of us probably already know that “Judging the person doesn’t define who they are, It defines who you are.”
Growing up as an orphan kids is hard. Especially, when I still don’t understand what is the actual meaning as an orphan when I was a little girl. There is one time, when I was small one of my friend invites some of our classmate to his house to play after school. But, there is one kid that said ” you don’t invite orphan kids, because the are poor and No manner, because they are naughty that’s way their parents left them in the orphanage. I was pretty sad about it, of course we are poor and I totally agreed with that, we living from donators, wearing used clothes, play with the toys that people give, no pocket money to school, isn’t sound like the definition of poor? But, NO MANNER? I never agreed with that. Even though we are orphan and no parents to teach us about manner, we are pretty much the good kids type.
Take it as an example, when some of donators coming to visit the orphanage, we try our best to be the best kids that we could ever be. We put our best clothes that we ever had, we make our self clean and neat as we could, we greet them with big smile on our face, we don’t make any unnecessary things so we could get the best present that the donators brought for us. Not forgetting to said Thank you when we get the present or whenever people gave us something. Also, we try to behave as good as we could back in the orphanage, so we could follow our cook mother to the groceries store when we are being good as a rewards and we could get some candies, ice cream or even dunking donuts :).
The words no manner, keep playing on my brain as I grow up. All of those above are some manner that I learn and apply when I was kid. When I grow up, I start to learn on my own by reading or watching some manner lesson. I learn how to speak to others people regarding their aged or status, I learn basic things about those silver thingy on the dining table, what kind of clothes I should wear in every occasion, to never come empty handed when coming to people house, the basic ” please, sorry, excuse me and thank you”, I even learn how Kate Middleton behave :). Because, I am not the orphan kids with no manner and good manner is important in our life, it’s describe us what kind of person are we from other people views. Also, I always keep telling myself to not judge other people. Because, I never know what’s going on in them? And true, people learn, change, and move on to become a better version of themselves. Just like me! 🙂
3.Always Willing to Learn and Don’t be Lazy if You Want something and No One is STUPID.
English is not my daily language in Indonesia, even though I growing up in Bali and there is many foreigner volunteer that comes to our orphanage to teach us and we communicate with them in a simple and basic English to them I still having some difficulties in English subject. Especially, at school when text book was given and with all of the Grammar things, doesn’t seem to help me to understand English. I don’t even know when the question on a text book asking a ‘why’ question and the answer is always start with “because.” And because of that my classmate told me that I am stupid.
The word “stupid” was upset me, and I thought I was really stupid too. Until, one day I accidentally saw a quotes that said “No one is stupid in this world only lazy people are stupid.” I keep thinking about those quotes after that to find what are the meaning behind those. When, I finally understand what is mean I start telling to my self that I am not a stupid, because no one is. And to be smart I can’t be lazy, I Need to learn. My English teacher was telling us, that the only dictionary to learn proper english are by using “Oxford dictionary.” Because, most of dictionary especially the small ones in Indonesia doens’t translate well and it’s quite true. But, the Oxford dictionary is expensive and there are only 3 kids in my class has it. They are come from pretty well family’s so they’re parents get it for them.
Since I really want to learn and because I already believe that no one is stupid. I need to have the oxford dictionary too. So, after school I work part time at our neighbour groceries shop to help the shop short of the peanuts, corn, or onion. We have been doing this since we are about 9yo to get our own pocket money. Our orphanage mother allow us, as long we already done our duty in school or in the orphanage. Everyday after school and on the weekend I go to the shop to look for some jobs until I have enough money to buy the oxford dictionary and finally I could afford :).
I feel pretty cool at that moment, when I have those dictionary. Believe it or not, I almost reading those dictionary everyday. And the dictionary doesn’t comes in small size, it was thick and heavy. Alsmot everyday I have english lesson, so I need to bring those dictionary with me everyday. Some of my classmate didn’t want to bring dictionary because the bag is already to heavy with our others school text book. But, not for me. I decided to bring my dictionary everyday, it took me a hard work to get it and I want to improve my English, I want to learn. And sometimes my classmate asked to sitdown with me or just around me because they need to translate something, having those dictionary making me make a friends with the other fellow classmate in a good way and I proud of it.
Another example, that make me believe there is always possibility in anything if we are willing to just do something to make it happened are when I was enrolling on Aidha course. There is the link for aidha https://www.aidha.org. My computer mentor giving us a computer homework about google sheet. Since most of us didnt own computer and doesn’t really know much about computer things, some of my classmate didn’t do and submit the Homework. As for me, i haven’t have computet too at that time, i try to figure it out how to keep doing my homework and submit it. Finally, i.decided to try on my phone and downloads the apps for goole sheet. It takes me sometimes trying to figure it out how’s google sheet work. But with my willingness to learn, I finally managed to do my homework and submit to my teacher at 4am 😑 because 10am is when my lesson are start. Also, another example is when my other mentor for communication and confidence give us a homework to write a letter to our family about our future plan. As you know I am an orpham so I don’t have a family to write. But, still I like to learn to be better with the opportunity that was offer to me, so I still keep writing the home work letter. Instead of writing to my family, I wrote to myself and I submit to my mentor.
Back to English lesson, I was quite good when I communicate basically, the beginning is pretty hard for me since my school teach grammar a lots and is hold me a little bit to communicate with other people in English. I was scared and worried if I do the correct grammar or not when I talk, but since I learn from Tv shows, movies or even music and understand that every English speaking country has different words to said things , I slowly understand that is ok to just speak up. As long they understand and I understand forget about the grammar, we didn’t do school test anyway. Just speak up!! SO, don’t be lazy to learn if you want something in your life.
4.Always Grateful for Everything because there is Always Someone that Less fortunate than You and the Important of Childhood
When I was kids and start to understand that I was orphan, I start to have those question like many orphan kids does. Like, why i don’t have mom and dad, why I stay in the orphanage instead of beautiful house like the rest of my school friends, why I don’t have this and that. I used to hate Mother’s day or Father’s day, I hate the end of semester when parents need to come to school to get our school report or for the parents meeting.
Things were different when I was growing up, after finishing my high school I work as a nanny for Taiwanese family. I normally sending and picking the kids from and to school, or accompany them with whatever activities they have that day. I am pretty much going place to place around Bali because of the kids activities, but mostly we go around KUTA and LEGIAN beach in Bali because is quite near with our place in Denpasar. If you happened to go or visit those area, I guess you are pretty familiar with the sight of street kids begging for money or selling hard a hand band for a tourist. That’s what I saw too everyday when I was around those area sadly.
One day, I decided to come close to the street kids. I bring a long some milk, bread and biscuit. I though she must be hungry, but to my shocked they didn’t want the goodies and they asked for the money instead. And then, I asked why you need the money? she replied my mother asked me to do that 😦 while pointing a lady and small kids in the corner nearby. I asked her again, are you going to school? and she replied ‘No’, my mother doesn’t allow me to go to school or play. She only want me to sell the bracelet or begging for money to give her. Looking back at it, and I saw myself when I was her aged. Even, I was growing up in the orphanage I still have a chance to be just like a kids should be. Going to school and to learn, playing all the kids games, colouring, drawing, dancing, and once in a while some of donators take us to the museum, zoo, strawberry farm, surf school, etc. I have beautiful memories.
And those childhood memories, when I remember sometimes when I becoming an adult bring me a good smile on me and happiness. I think everykids deserved a good childhood, so they don’t hold something bad when they grow up. One of my friend was running a foundation to help the street kids in Bali, here is their link https://ykpa.org/ and I hope I could help those kids to have a proper childhood too. I am grateful for what I had, for the beautiful childhood, a place to sleep, and every small thing. I learn to appreciates things in life as I grow up, I try not complaining a lots or comparing myself to others. Being my own self is more than enough rather trying to be somebody else but we are not happy. We should really learn to appreciate everything in life even the smallest things, it really helps me to see things in a different perception. I alwasy look up for to the successfull as my motivation to better myself and when i look down into someone that less fortunate than me, I took that as my reminder how lucky I am to just being me :).
5.Forgive, Letting Go, Be The Bigger Person and Move On with Positivity
When things doesn’t go as we want to be, we seem to blame for everything, we blame the other person for the cause that hurt us, that make us fail, or that make our life seem out of our picture and it make us trap in those negative thinking. We became bitter person, we can’t see clearly that there is a good things in front of us.
Back on that day, I used to have those thinking too. Since I never know the reason why my parents juts leave me in the orphanage when I was baby, it make me thinking pretty much negative things. Just like what my nasty childhood friend said, maybe I am so naughty, maybe I am just unwanted kid for them, I am just unloved kid, all of those things. It’s hurt me somehow and always give me a “Why” question that ME , myself never know the answer not even the Head Mother of the orphanage. They just found me in the front gate of the orphanage that was she always said to me whenever I ask about the reason, until I stop asking about it because all I get was the same answer that didn’t help me understand the reason or the matter.
It was one of the day, I was watching some news in the television. On that news they show a baby was found dead because someone throw the baby from the high building. Another day I saw the news a baby was found in the garbage bag, on the drain, it make me looking back to my memories how I was at that time. I used to be one of those baby in the news, but the only different is my parents doesn’t do a horrible things to me. Instead they leave me somewhere in the orphanage. From that moment, I realise how lucky I am that my parents still give me to chance to breathe and see what the world has offer to me.
I start to hang on those little thought of mine and it’s give me something to see things in a different views. I realise that at least my parents still give me somethings for my self. Not inheritance neither a lots of money or a piece of land, it just simply one things. A chance to life, a chance to see and to feel the world just like the other human being does. I closed my chapter about my parents, I decided to forgive them for whatever reason they done this to me and I start to treasure and embrace the chance to life that my parents has given me.
From there, I have new chapter in life. I have my own stories to fill up my pages, I create a life what I want to be. And when it comes to a “chance” it bring me to a “Hope” and a hope is always “positive” things to me. So, instead of picturing my self as a victim from the past that I never want to be part of it, I change the character of my self and create it as a better person. I moving on with my life with a positive though, I make my own character on my own stories to be Incredible as I could, It’s make me happier as person. Forgive and letting go things that hold you into something that never bring you a happiness is the best choices you could ever do to yourself.
Those all my 5 things that I learn in life to help me grow as a person, most of them was unexpectedly coming to me. I am 26yo now, and I still keep learning everyday. Is okay sometimes to share our problem with others when it’s help you to grow, or just simply write on a journal if you not open person like me because it help us to take away the heavy feeling that traps us. Is okay too, to order a pot of tea instead of an alcoholic drinks in a bar because you just like the tea and like the place ( I did it a lots) and sometimes the shop assistant laughing at me. I don’t care, I Just being me and I am happy with that. So, I hope is inspired you, and if you have a lesson on your own please to help you grow as a person, feel free to share with me on a comment below :). Have a great day and don’t forget to love your self first before you love others in this FEBRUARY the month of LOVE!! 🙂 💛